Empty Vessel


I’ve decided to share a poem I wrote years ago and edited last month. Also I suck at naming my poems. Therefore, I always titled them as “Based On Real Emotions” or just “Untitled”…so don’t judge the title, please (ha-ha).

Attempting to be normal is what I tried to do
It’s not so easy as I thought it would be
Neglecting the things I once hold dear
I allowed my dry bones to be picked at by crows-
In human disguises
Tears are shed yet emotion-less I stand
before the people I refuse to believe care
The darkness is my home, the light my enemy
A twisted mind and blacken heart
A life of regret, scars, blood and blades
I’ll give up for it’s not worth it
I will not fight for I have already lost
a game that was never in my favor
I’ll let myself go- I’ll let everything go
All i need in this messed up society is myself
Myself who betrayed me and left me empty- a vessel
To be clawed at by greedy hands
So fuck morals and social graces
Let me be, I don’t need it
Because in this world
You have only yourself….your biggest nightmare

~ J.R

Happy Father’s Day???


So today is Father’s Day and I haven’t wished my dad as yet :/ . Should maybe write a speech or give a present I don’t know (ha-ha). Took me the whole night to come up with something and yes it’s messy but I tend to write based on the way I think. Also, I don’t sugarcoat things…I see people saying stuff like “Best Dad Ever!!” or “I have the perfect dad!!” and all those things. Like what the hell mayne- but hey, do you. I’m not hating, just no-body’s perfect

Your blood shot eyes and stone cold face
Your slaps and venom words
A perfect childhood was not so perfect anymore
Slowly we drifted apart
“Dad’s favourite girl” were words I despised hearing from mouths around me- especially yours

We played together
Laugh together
You carried me in your arms and unravel the adventures of your past
You bought me pretty things and reassured me that I was LOVED
But why?
Why did your words no longer match your actions?
Where was the man I looked up to?

Years passed
Distance grew
Separate housing and new memories
You’ve changed from the man you were
To being the dad I craved years ago
Your constant calls, visit and random gifts
I won’t denied it made me felt happy
But deep down it just didn’t feel the same anymore

Your not a perfect dad
Nor the best man you could have been to my mom
But I’ve seen you tried
to play your role to the best
And I just want to say
Thank you for your kind words and wisdom
Despite the past, present and future
Your still my dad and I care
Nobody’s perfect and we all make mistakes
Keep being who you are
Cause I’m right here, we all are
So let’s create new memories where we can reflect on
With smiles of happiness

Thank you.

So yeah…that’s that and WEEEHHHHIIEEE CHARLIE THE UNICORN!! Okay, I really need sleep. 😂