In The Hands Of Society

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He lost himself
in the hands of society
He bared his teeth
growl and scratched at nothing
He felt high
He was on cloud nine
But within a blink of an eye
he was torn to threads
By society which had given birth
Birth to greed, insecurities
power, lust
and all things humans crave for

He lost himself and
Just like that he was forgotten
yet why-
Why do humans crave so much
for materialistic things?
It isn’t that which define who we are
But we
We are the ones who define who we are
It’s too late
Because half of this world has already lost itself

…in the hands of society

~J.R

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A Prayer To You

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Photo by me

They say have faith
believe in you
and everything will be okay
I did just that
But you mocked me
Seeing my smiling face
you wiped it away immediately
My teary eyes
making the heavens rejoice
My wrongs and rights
you know them all
before even a single one could be complete
I pray to you and tell myself
Everything happens for a reason

Where are you?
No where to be seen
Years and years of struggling
and a blind eye
You love us all, that’s what you said
But in truth
There is just a few
Still trapped in the dark
You refuse to shine your light
upon me
So this is my reason to live?
Will I be driven into my own dark desires?
Shall I take life into thy own hands?

Why do you still refuse to answer me?
A broken, lost and battered soul
Am I still not worthy of you?
Just like Lucifer
Tempted to be THE ONE
not the one to lead an army of unjust
But to be THE ONE of many
Whom you have bestowed your love upon

A prayer to you
just like the others
Will this too go unanswered?

~ J.R

Atelophobia

Jovial's World

Emotions scattered like broken glass
As realization hits
No matter how much you tried
it was never enough
Living in the shadows of siblings
More talented, more liked
or even better looking despite
obnoxious characters
Again you listen to praises that was not
bestowed upon you
Again you cringed at screaming voices
Blaming you for things you haven’t done
and have done
For speaking your mind
For existing
The pressure of doing better
of being noticed for once
Time wasted and like always
it was never enough
You were never enough
And you now accepted the fact that you will never be enough
You shut out the world
Drew pretty pictures against membrane
Spilled ink on untouched papers
You smiled at the life you had
You smiled at your smudged reflection
A figure like you stared back
Eyes that showed
how broken you were
Alone, defeated,
Useless, worthless
How many times you chanted
in your mind
“I just want to be good enough to someone”
How many times were you left alone and reminded you weren’t
One…two or maybe a thousand times
with a smile that held no story behind it
You studied yourself
You still couldn’t hide it
Tears would threaten to spill
any time soon
and you’ll panic and scratch at your skin
losing your mind
You were doing so well
but somewhere it went wrong
Nothing could stop you from feeling
and knowing that
You were and will never be
good enough 

~ J.R

Life

Sometimes
it stops at our throat
And we find it hard to breathe
We thrash about
And scratch at our chest
Lungs burning
With the desire to be filled-
With life
A reason to keep living
Day by day
we mortals struggle
To make something worth the time we have left here
We bicker
Slaughter
Laugh
Cry
Smile
at the different things life throws at us
We wear masks with permanent
smiles or frowns
Our pride is too great
it takes control
No “I’m sorry”s or “Excuse me”s
when necessary
Life’s ego
and life’s sacred self
Giving us two choices:
To live or to die
Blinded by all things bad that feel so right
selfishness
greed
envy
and the list goes on
We choose dying without realizing
Staining the once pure mind
of all things good
Slowly with aging
life will take its toll
giving each of us
what we truly deserve
It’s too late now
to rewrite new stories on worn out pages
that fades away along with us
Happy thoughts
Sad thoughts
it doesn’t matter to life
Because we mortals are life in its self
Make it what we will
and live it cautiously

~ J.R

Rain Sound

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The dead of night
Wide awake she lay
With the heavy sounds of rain
and an aching heart
Tears hugging the flesh of her cheeks
Memories replaying like scratch CDs

Warm hands that held her
now holds another
Soft lips fitting so perfectly with hers
now fits another
Melodic laughter which never fails to make her smile
now only plays for another

The dead of night
The rain sound echoes
against roof and windowpanes
The smell of coffee and it’s warmth
fills both mind and body
Empty cuddles and cold sheets

They met in the rain
And end in the rain
Now the rain sound isn’t what it use to be
A soft lullaby that comforts her
but a tragic love story gone wrong
A music note-
that lost its sound

She hugs the only thing she could find
A pillow…his substitute
Swollen face
Half empty mug
The darkness and lightening
which kissed with every chance they got
Illuminated her pale features

With moist yet hopeful eyes
She watch the rain pour
One day for sure
These rain sounds will be what they use to be
The raining sounds of love
    

~ J.R

The Distance

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The empty spaces here on our beds
The spaces between our fingers
And blank spaces in our pictures
is where we both belong

With wavering hearts
Shy smiles, sweaty palms
and slurred words
We exchange our “I like you”s

Our many calls
that’s filled with laughter and sadness
Nervous faces on screen
with soft gazes and darken cheeks
We share our deepest thoughts

With 17,997 km between us
Lack of money
and expensive plane flights
We made heart felt promises to keep strong

For the first time in our lives
We both experience something-
Something that we both never believed in
Excited yet scared we grabbed hold of it with both hands

For the day will come
when we no longer need to create memories from a far
When we’ll be in each others arms
Days will be much brighter
With new memories to make

Until then
It’s us against
The Distance….

~ J.R

Sleepless Nights

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She tossed and turned under the burning covers, throwing it off with a loud sigh as thoughts of the past, present and future filled her mind.

The past? She can’t run away from. It hunted her whether she was awake or asleep. She could hear the voices screaming at her and hollow eyes staring her down. She panics for awhile, deep breathes “Inhale..Exhale” she tells herself over and over.

The present? She had many ‘friends’ and families yet she always felt alone. Whenever she was happy, angry, excited or even sad nobody cared. She couldn’t really turn to anyone about anything. She end up crumbling in her own shadow, lost and unloved. Is she really not loved? Even a little? Maybe if she kissed the cold air which wraps itself around her, comforting her and acknowledging her. Maybe then, everyone’s attention would be on her even for a second….a second? She would already be far gone.

The future? That she knows nothing of. Will she still be trapped in the cage of her own thoughts or would she be free? Free to laugh honestly and share in the joys of others. Will she be loved? There’s so many questions and no answers.

Black scrawny fingers shakingly made its way into messy hair. Lids tightly squeezing against each other. Again, a loud sigh escaped her lips, eyes open and now focused on the glowing ball outside her window.

“Another sleepless night…”