20 Years Old And Still Playing With Dolls


Dolls have always been my kind of thing and I don’t mean that in a pervy disgusting kind of way. Growing up I didn’t really like the company of others (still kinda don’t) and for me, dolls were like little diaries that I could write in. But the difference was instead of writing I just talked- a lot. I always felt safe when I rant the deepest part of myself to my dolls. They, to me, were the most loyal friends anyone could ask for. They never revealed my secret to anyone, never got mad at me, always listen to me and most importantly, they were always there.

Reading this you might be thinking “The heck is wrong with this person?!!” or “This person needs some serious counselling” or whatever. But let’s be honest, haven’t you ever felt like that whether it was towards a doll, stuff animals (these are the cutest things ever), maybe action figures etc? I know I can’t be the only one.

I no longer own a doll though and that’s because of my mom she murdered them. The last doll I had, she burnt it saying “You’re too old for these things” (ha-ha). I remembered how angry I was at her for taking away my best friend. I buried the remains of my doll under our tree and held a funeral for her (sounds crazy I know). After that I secretly bought smaller dolls that could fit inside my bag without it being too obvious that I had any. Whether I was home or in public, I never hide the fact that I was really into dolls. I can recall countless times when my mom shot me the LOOK (ha-ha).

I saw these on Rakuten Global Market the other day. And I thought these were really cute. It’s almost as if dolls are humans too.




I know some people treat dolls as just object- some type of thing that they can use to control the behaviour of kids or whatever they use it as. I on the other, tend to treat my dolls (and stuff animals) like real humans. I’ll bathe them, comb their hair, lotion their skin, spray them, feed them and other things you can think of that we humans do. My mom was completely annoyed watching as her lotion, spray and even hair oils got wasted on a doll. She use to threaten me that she’ll take them way if I don’t get chores done or if I keep using her stuff on them. Those were the days 😀

Other than dolls, I do like stuff animals a lot. When anyone ask me what I want for my birthday, it always include “I want a doll or stuff animal”. I still have this one teddy bear I received as a birthday gift from a friend back in high school. Also, there are four teddy bears that my mom always puts on her bed for decoration. I talk to these a lot (ha-ha).

Now I’m 20 years of age and I’m still playing with dolls. I might not own any at the moment but that doesn’t stop me. I do plan on buying myself one soon, with or without my mom’s approval. I’ve already been checking out a few sites and I’m super excited!! Anyways, I don’t think anyone is too old for dolls, stuff animals, action figures, cartoons or whatever. Keep doing the things you love despite the judging eyes and hurtful remarks of people around, because by the end of the day it’s what makes you happy that matters the most.

Do you like dolls too or other things that people think are “too old for you”? I’d love to hear so do comment. 🙂

BTS (방탄소년단) – DOPE/SICK (쩔어)

WHAT IS THIS?!! WHAT?!! Jungkook you can come and arrest me anytime, whether I’m good or bad. How dare Rapmon and his lips!!! Give me some SUGA!! That hair is sooooo working for him. Speaking of hair, how freaking hot is Jimin with red hair?!! He is the definition of H.O.T! I hate doctors but Jin is making me question myself a little on that. Taehyung is always so adorable no matter what he’s doing and finally J-hope….I have no words right now. I needed to just say all that and get it out my system, moving on (ha-ha).

I can’t recall how many times I kept clicking the replay button on this MV since it came out. This song is one of my favorite on the album besides I NEED YOU. For me personally, the dance was the best part of the video…I’m not saying that the whole video was crappy and that the dance saved it. The video was actually good and our boys did their best with what they had. I really like the whole occupation concept and it’s nice seeing the boys having fun with it. The lyrics were very meaningful and lets not forget the saxophone in the background!!! I swear I have this crazeee thing for instruments.

With the third mini album, The Most Beautiful Moment in Life/Mood For Love pt.1, the boys have definitely caught the attention of many people across the globe. I love that this concept shows that the ‘boys’ are now MEN.
The album consist of 9 tracks:


Track List:
01. Intro: 화양연화 (Most Beautiful Moment in Life)
03. 잡아줘 (Hold Me Tight)
04. SKIT: Expectation!
05. 쩔어 (DOPE/SICK)
06. 흥탄소년단
07. Converse High
08. 이사 (Move)
09. Outro: Love is Not Over

If you haven’t listen to the album as yet, please check it out. All the tracks are really good, plus this time all the members took part in the songwriting. Awesomeness!!

Anyways, I hope you enjoy the video and is spazzing as much as I did. 😀

Empty Vessel


I’ve decided to share a poem I wrote years ago and edited last month. Also I suck at naming my poems. Therefore, I always titled them as “Based On Real Emotions” or just “Untitled”…so don’t judge the title, please (ha-ha).

Attempting to be normal is what I tried to do
It’s not so easy as I thought it would be
Neglecting the things I once hold dear
I allowed my dry bones to be picked at by crows-
In human disguises
Tears are shed yet emotion-less I stand
before the people I refuse to believe care
The darkness is my home, the light my enemy
A twisted mind and blacken heart
A life of regret, scars, blood and blades
I’ll give up for it’s not worth it
I will not fight for I have already lost
a game that was never in my favor
I’ll let myself go- I’ll let everything go
All i need in this messed up society is myself
Myself who betrayed me and left me empty- a vessel
To be clawed at by greedy hands
So fuck morals and social graces
Let me be, I don’t need it
Because in this world
You have only yourself….your biggest nightmare

~ J.R

Happy Father’s Day???


So today is Father’s Day and I haven’t wished my dad as yet :/ . Should maybe write a speech or give a present I don’t know (ha-ha). Took me the whole night to come up with something and yes it’s messy but I tend to write based on the way I think. Also, I don’t sugarcoat things…I see people saying stuff like “Best Dad Ever!!” or “I have the perfect dad!!” and all those things. Like what the hell mayne- but hey, do you. I’m not hating, just no-body’s perfect

Your blood shot eyes and stone cold face
Your slaps and venom words
A perfect childhood was not so perfect anymore
Slowly we drifted apart
“Dad’s favourite girl” were words I despised hearing from mouths around me- especially yours

We played together
Laugh together
You carried me in your arms and unravel the adventures of your past
You bought me pretty things and reassured me that I was LOVED
But why?
Why did your words no longer match your actions?
Where was the man I looked up to?

Years passed
Distance grew
Separate housing and new memories
You’ve changed from the man you were
To being the dad I craved years ago
Your constant calls, visit and random gifts
I won’t denied it made me felt happy
But deep down it just didn’t feel the same anymore

Your not a perfect dad
Nor the best man you could have been to my mom
But I’ve seen you tried
to play your role to the best
And I just want to say
Thank you for your kind words and wisdom
Despite the past, present and future
Your still my dad and I care
Nobody’s perfect and we all make mistakes
Keep being who you are
Cause I’m right here, we all are
So let’s create new memories where we can reflect on
With smiles of happiness

Thank you.

So yeah…that’s that and WEEEHHHHIIEEE CHARLIE THE UNICORN!! Okay, I really need sleep. 😂


ONE OK ROCK is a Japanese rock band that was formed in 2005. Consisting of the four members: Takahiro Morita (lead vocals), Toru Yamashita (guitars, backing vocals), Ryota Kohama (bass guitar) and Tomoya Kanki (drums, percussion).

Why the sudden talk about them? Well that’s because I’ve been listening to my collection of Japanese Music and ONE OK ROCK‘s Mighty Long Fall started playing. I’ve been a huge fan of them since forever. And it’s rare to find a band where you can’t help but love all their songs. Now for those who don’t know, Mighty Long Fall was the theme song of Rurouni Kenshin: Kyoto Inferno (2014 film).

35XXXV is the seventh full-length album to be released on February 11, 2015; as well as the first to be recorded in the US. The album contains the following track:

1. 3xxxv
2. Take Me to the Top
3. Cry Out
4. Suddenly
5. Mighty Long Fall
6. Heartache
7. Memories
8. Decision
9. Paper Planes ft Kellin Quinn
10. Good Goodbye
11. One by One
12. Stuck in the Middle
13. Fight the Night

I took my time and listen to each song when it was released well I tried to but i kept spazzing like crazy. For me, Take Me to the Top was one of the best song. It started off with powerful guitars (I’m a girl who goes crazy over guitars so you could just imagine how I was dying while listening to this) and drums with Taka’s awesome vocals. At one point I thought of Linkin Park because of the “screamo” and I’m not complaining at all. I’m a sucker for these things. There are one or two songs where ONE OK ROCK does a little screamo but this one right here, OH GAWD!!! The guitar solo- no words right now. The catchiest song on the album for me was Cry Out.

One by One had me throwing myself all over the place (ha-ha) which earned me a few stares. I really love this one. Ballads like Heartache and Good Goodbye was amazing, they totally lifted the album. The way Taka smoothly sung those high notes in Heartache was just amazing. These two songs are mostly on replay for me.

Paper Planes is a collaboration with Sleeping With Sirens‘ vocalist, Kellin Quinn. Being a huge fan of both bands my expectation was pretty high for this one. However, the song felt completely different. I don’t know if it’s in a good or bad way but I just…I don’t know. Honestly, I was expecting like this amazing mind blowing song but the song sounded kind of messy. I’m not saying that this band or that band isn’t good but it just didn’t fit well with ONE OK ROCK. As always the instrument was good (oh gawd the guitar).

I know I’ve been going on about the guitars 😂 I don’t hate drums, in fact I love drums so with the song Decision we get the chance to hear more of the drums. It was so captivating I honestly forgot the guitars 😨 This song was actually released last year along with Mighty Long fall as a single. They are both awesome tracks so I’m really happy that they decided to add them on this album.

Overall, the album was really good and is worth the listen. I could go on and on about the songs but I think I’d end up writing a book. Also, if you’ve been following them since The Beginning (see what I did there 😉 ) you’ll see how much they’ve improved proud fan I tell you. ONE OK ROCK is definitely gaining more popularity not only within Japan but outside as well. I wish them all the best and I can’t wait to see what else they have in store for us.

I strongly recommend you listen to this band, you’ll end up loving them as much as I do. Stay away from Taka he belongs to me!!

Happy listening!!! 😄

Hilary Duff – Sparks

Today, my friend made me watch the music video of Hilary Duff‘s Sparks. When it comes to certain music, I tend to only listen to the audio rather than watching the MV. For me, American music videos tend to just show the same thing over and over, it kinda gets boring. Well except for Sia, Ed Sheeran etc. but I think you get the idea.

First of all, according to several sources, Sparks, from the fifth album: Breathe In, Breathe Out, was written and produced by Christian “Bloodshy” Karlsson and Peter Thomas along with the help of Ebba Tove Elsa Nilsson and Sam Shrieve, and co-production from Svidden. The song was released April 7, 2015 by RCA Records, third single of the album.

Hilary Duff came out with All About You and Chasing the Sun last year, and I really enjoyed them. But now with her new catchy pop song, Sparks, I felt like she really did it this time. She was dancing, singing and hanging out with her girls. For those who didn’t know, there are actually two music videos for her song, Sparks. The first video below is the original one.

Then, there’s the second music video that was “demanded” by fans who wanted to see the full MV without the whole Tinder stuff. I honestly prefer this version, since you get to see the full video with the dance as well as getting the chance to hear the words of the song more than in the original. My friend didn’t like the song at all but she did love the MV since it screamed K-Pop and I have to agree with her. I did get the whole K-Pop vibes while watching it. I really love the new look, she be rocking that blue-green kinda silver hair or is it grey and doing ’em choreographed moves. I love it!!

Also for those who don’t know what Tinder is, let me educate you a little. Tinder is a dating app that allows its user to interact with their matches. Tinder was created by Joe Munoz, Whitney Wolfe, Justin Mateen, Sean Rad, Chris Gylczynski and Jonathan Badeen and was released on September 12, 2012.
If you want in depth information about the app, feel free to do your own research people. Also, no i don’t use the app (ha-ha).

12 Things I miss…



❄Waking up whenever I wanted to and then running outside to play with my buddies.
❄Not caring what I looked like.
❄Eating whatever I felt like without caring if I would get a pimple on my forehead.
❄When there wasn’t anything called a rumor.
❄Getting dirt all over me and then running home to take a long shower.
❄When swearing was a taboo.
❄When the only confusion I had was whether to color the flowers in my painting red or blue.
❄When I didn’t require YouTube for entertainment.
❄When the only reason I cried was because I had fallen down the last step.
❄When crossing the road without holding onto my mumma’s hand was THE nightmare.
❄When the only music I heard was on Disney.
❄When I didn’t have to write such stuff down because I lived it everyday.


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엠블랙(MBLAQ) – 거울(Mirror)

I can’t stop listening to this song. It’s sad that Joon and Thunder is no longer apart of MBLAQ but we fans of course still support our boys.

Mir‘s rap as always was flawless, G.O‘s high notes never fail and we got to hear more of Seungho‘s voice which sounds so darn good.

I wish these boys the best of luck in their future activities and I hope soon they’ll be able to talk with each other again.

Messed up.



I am a mess. An irrevocable one. Irreparable. I am a mess because of the non-choices choices I have made. The decisions I have taken. The final answers I have given. I am this way because I am deemed to be.I am so because I have caused to be so.I am a mess. A broken one. I am not the broken beautiful from the fiction I so love to read. I am an ugly heap of the person I used to be. In the past. My past. I was beautiful then.A mess,regardless. But a beautiful one. The fictional kind. The fairytale kind. The storybook life I seemed to have back then is stuff of nightmares now. Choking me. Choking the life out of me. The stuffy feeling does not go away. Why doesn’t it go away?!People were jealous back then. They pity me now.I am pitiful.I should be burned in…

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BIG BANG’s Taeyang and actress Min Hyo Rin dating!!!


Resurfaced dating rumors of Taeyang and Min Hyo Rin has been confirm by both YG Entertainment and JYP Entertainment to be true. According to several sources, the two stars met through the filming for Taeyang’s 새벽한시(1AM) Music Video in September of 2013 and have been dating for two years.

This was totally unexpected but I have to say I’m really happy about it. Finally our Taeyang be dating!! Now your fans don’t have to worry about you being single forever, 오빠 (he-he) But who would have thought our Taeyang would be the first to date publicly among Big Bang? Certainly not me.

I’m really happy that most of the reaction towards the dating news has been supportive. I also want to say to all those people out there bashing on Min Hyo Rin to grow up and stop behaving like immature bratz. Who are you to decide whether or not she’s good for Taeyang? It sickens me to see those few comments about how ugly she is or Taeyang could do better etc. You haters need to get over yourselves.

ANYWAYS!! Congratz to Taeyang and his Bae see what I did there hehehe. I wish you guys all the best. 🙂

What do you guys think?~